My World.

So take a step back. A breath in. Let it out now. Put your chin up. You can do it tiger, you a man now. And in your dream it's time to do the best you can now.

From recent events, I've become incredibly humbled in the process. I'm going to make sure that this is done correctly this time. So I can heal completely. Because we are so fragile yet so resilient in times like these. Despite my efforts to make light of this trying week and all of its tribulations, in truth, I feel disappointed in myself. I'm ready to break myself down, so I can build myself up. I need to be willing to commit to my dreams now.

I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not. I haven't been "awesome" (as Barney Stinson would called it) at life for a while now. Probably since I started working, I haven't been amazing at anything. And I need a breakthrough. All of the sudden, I'm in a bigger league now and I realize that I'm not cut out for it. And nor am I completely cut out to be in that particular relationship. Yes, that. It stings more than anything but I want to learn from my mistakes in the past. It's always better to end at the first signs of a decline than to see the shit hit the fan in major way and act in ways that are inexcusable.

My rationale: (for the sake of my continued commitment to this discommitment)

This is what you wanted right? How many nights were spent pouring out your guts dummy? It's time to stand up tall. Be on your own. There's no excuse for it. You aint cut out to fill this role and it's time to admit your weakness. Those nights spent aren't lost. They'll remain in your memory. To think back on from time to time. Stay focused now when nothing seems to make sense. Remember back to this moment when you realized that it was not going to end well for both parties involved. And despite your honest efforts to not hurt the other person, both of you will hurt. Like hell. You need to live up to that ad you put out. Otherwise you gonna be accused of false advertising just like the rest of lot. You can't expect others to put you in your place or to build you up. You need to work for your keeps. Drop that baggage and focus on the gold. Sometimes you stubborn as shit. Stubbornness has gotten the best of you. Chalk it up to heredity. But never, and never compromise.