Dear God,
I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
I know you aren't finished with me yet. Thank you! Please don't ever be finished with me. I was walking around Cologne, Germany a few days ago and had this sudden fear that you might punish me for what I'm doing. I know it sounds really stupid but I somehow got fearful that you might take away everything because I'm not using it to your Glory.
I know that when I'm "with" him and in a relationship I lose sight of you. I let my sins get the best of me. I forget to pray and stay close to your will. I lose my confidence and drive because I forget the source of all of that. It doesn't take very long. It didn't take long at all this time around for me to lose you. I'm sorry. Someday, I will be able to be in a relationship and in a marriage and still have my whole focus on you. It just isn't right now. Thank you for showing me that. I will wait.
In the meantime, please protect my heart. Keep me whole. Teach me to be strong in you. Protect my soul, cleanse me and give me a clean slate again in Jesus's name. I know I don't deserve it, and I know that I've done nothing to earn Grace. And yet you give it to me.
Thank you for speaking to me yesterday on the train ride home. For giving me preparation and for encouraging me to find my way back to you. Please help me do the right thing and give me clarity, vision, and wisdom! I think that's what I lack most, being able to recognize what's right and wrong in that moment. Wanting to make things better and feeling utterly helpless. I know that only you can make things good. I hope that it's through me that you will accomplish your good deeds.
Lord, make me humble. Help me see the mistakes that I've made and improve upon them. Don't let me dwell on them unnecessarily but help me learn the lessons you want me to learn! And always - always stay close to me!
And as always, thank you for loving me. I am so grateful.
in Christ's name,
Amen
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment